again..too lazy…but it’s summer

June 7, 2010

stick a fork in me
preferably through the heart
i’ll turn my head away and wait
done, charcoal black
burned to a crisp
but still sitting on a plate
on the dining room table
waiting to be wanted
and nobody gets how i feel
it’s not like the whole world sits on this
that it’s oxygen or water
it’s just another lie
one fewer blessing to count
and my blessing stash is running so low
i can count them on two hands
but you see God, i’ve got these fingers and toes
and i’m starting to get old
so old i have to decide
what path i take
and i don’t know where you want me to go
because i have had these dreams and desires
but you haven’t really stoked the fire
and this growing fear of debt and poverty
speaks loud and clear to me
i want to burn it all down
so everything else is as unappealing as me
overcooked
because you can’t fit the whole world in a trashbag
and we’re all doomed anyway
i’ve always wanted a twin
to fit in
to be exactly alike
and maybe they won’t spread Godly lies
about how good things happen to good people
and that husbands are doled out so girls can survive
because i don’t have either
and i’m only getting better and stronger
i breathe alone
my lungs are getting stronger
but that means i’m often unappealing
everyone wants to exhale for someone else
but i don’t need you to
i know it’s callous
and misanthropic
but i’ll be okay in a landfill or compost
because no one values me
i don’t dwell on it though
because i keep looking for the sun
the son
or my husband
an empty plate
a mirror reflection
anything to keep my eyes forward
and away from the trash around me

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: