July 7, 2010



Happy Birthday to my Biggest Fan

July 6, 2010

Even though I can’t remember most things
Including 70% of the conversations we’ve had
I remember meeting you
The whole ocean sat in the pit of my gut
Swelling and swishing like a storm
I was climbing down the ladder
And sadly, slumming at a general admission school
I signed up for the class because it is my passion
And I walked in, sat down and
Suddenly became very aware of my snooty behavior
The ivory skin I am wrapped in
And my intelligence
We mentioned Parli
Suddenly you piped up
From the back of the classroom
Where you perched on a table, wearing one of those hats you love
It was the hat that convinced me to be your partner
But, it was your heart that has caused me to be your friend
Because God’s light shines down on 70% of your heart
And all I want is to stare
And make my heart look like that
Somehow this friendship of ours is unique
And even though it pisses her off, we’re cool
Because I let you see my heart
Black and beating it’s own tune
A tune I’m still trying to teach you
As I learn how to let God’s light shine
I know you will clean up my mess, and pray for me
If I have to stay behind
The same way I point toward your path, and pray for you
After I move on
Just promise me one thing

When you become the best damn stylist
That you’ll bring your ass overseas (to whatever shitty nation)
And teach me how to stop layering.


June 29, 2010

I’ve seen this fire in your eyes since before I can remeber

And it used to be fine, but now I’m the timber

Sitting by with no control

I wait to burn

It’s better to be engulfed than to be waiting

Because everything is wrong

I know I’ll be like you

Soon the victim will become the victimizer

I will be the only full of fire

But for now I’ll wait out this depression

This ditch you’ve caught me in

I read the symptoms and I know the signs

I won’t burn everyone like you do

I don’t deserve anything good

So I’ll take your spark and burn everything down

When I’m nothing but fire everything else is ash

This brand new relationship, and all the old

Ought to be gone my this time tomorrow

You see, I can’t function properly

And apparently I’ll lose love all together

Then sex will go

A broken toy, unable to smile or make anyone else smie

I don’t want to cry

But most of all I don’t want you to see me

So tomorrow and next year can burn in hell

Because I have it all mapped out

I will leave everything I love

Because one day I won’t love and life will have been a waste

God is love. And when we take up permanent residence in a house of love we live in God and He lives in us.

But it is too bad, you see that my house burned down

And I can’t love a bare foundation and charred walls

So just like Job I will bear this burden and pray I may praise

Pray I may praise

Because I’ve become prey

Don’t act like you get it or apologize

Just don’t talk to me

Let me cool off


June 23, 2010

I still wore shorts under my dresses
To ensure that no one got an eyeful on the playground
It was on the playground that I saw you
A sight to see, but no one else glanced
You rushed
I wanted to know where to
Because I wanted to be like you
So I followed, close enough to track
But too far for you to notice
And we fell
Not together, but separate
I was falling for you
But not in love with you
I fell for years
And hit rock bottom
You were no where to be found
I figured you had gone into one of the doors
But there was no way of knowing for sure
Until I saw it
A key, beckoning…unlocking
The smallest door
Which encased a beautiful place
But I couldn’t get there
The doorway teased and taunted
Somehow I always get what I’m desiring
Call it willpower
Or, more specifically, resourcefulness
Because I always find a way
And this time it involved a drink
But you see, I got too good at that drink
And the cake too
A party for one is desperate
I was desperate to balance my size
So I could make my dreams come true.

look forward to….

June 21, 2010

incinerate…spontaneous combustion…self absorbed…burrrnnnn

a re imagining of alice in wonderland (better than burton)

love in the time of ‘pression

and much more.
Tomorrow is another day, one I will spend click clacking away.

June 16, 2010

deprimió más que nunca


June 12, 2010

I didn’t do it
I don’t know how to tell you
You had the idea in your head
And I affirmed it
Falsely, with no real gain
A loss of something I never gifted
But I feel it’s fitting
Because the title is similar to the truth

bows and handlebars

June 11, 2010

I want to be young again
So that I only worry about my bike
And where my handlebar streamers disappeared to
Or how fast my arm will heal
So I can swim and shower normally
I’ll spend hours picking out outfits
And playing with barbie
Dreaming of how beautiful I will be
As a model
Or how my words will captivate
And I’ll be rich
I want to have those worries back
The fear that I will be the last
In my class to get laid
(which was true, but I’m okay)
I want to worry about my dogs
And my family
And whether or not that boy likes me
But I guess my stress hasn’t changed
It’s evolved
Everything is the same I’m just older
As I matured so did those ideas
It’s not bikes, but cars
My arm healed fine, but I’m ticking
And barbie instilled a beauty I can’t
I won’t walk runways
My body is thick, like a tree
Still waiting to be climbed
I’m holding captive an audience of one
No matter how many read
Nobody pays me
Everything is always the end of the world
But I’m just getting started.

grill marks

June 10, 2010

Every breeze makes the burn worse
Black char lines on one side
But heat is all I know
Crisp and cooked
I’d rather be this done
Than never have done
See, every hurt means
That when I get off this fire
I’ll appreciate the free air
And I’ve learned to love the grill rack
Keeping space
Saving me
So fire it up, it’s summer again

short circuited

June 10, 2010

Psalm 121
A Pilgrim Song
1-2 I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

3-4 He won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

5-6 God’s your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.

7-8 God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.